|
Rumaysa
bint Milhan
Even before Islam was introduced to
Yathrib, Rumaysa was known for her excellent character,
the power of her intellect and her independent attitude of
mind. She was known by various names including Rumaysa and
Ghumaysa, but these were possibly nicknames. One historian
says that her real name was Sahlah but later she was
popularly known as Umm Sulaym.
Umm Sulaym was first married to Malik
ibn an-Nadr and her son by this marriage was the famous
Anas ibn Malik, one of the great companions of the
Prophet.
Umm Sulaym was one of the first women of
Yathrib to accept Islam. She was influenced by the
refined, dedicated and persuasive Musab ibn Umayr who was
sent out as the first missionary or ambassador of Islam by
the noble Prophet. This was after the first pledge of
Aqabah. Twelve men of Yathrib had gone to Aqabah on the
outskirts of Makkah to pledge loyalty to the Prophet. This
was the first major break through for the mission of the
Prophet for many years.
Umm Sulaym's decision to accept Islam
was made without the knowledge or consent of her husband,
Malik ibn an-Nadr. He was absent from Yathrib at the time
and when he returned he felt some change had come over his
household and asked his wife: "Have you been
rejuvenated?" "No," she said, "but I
(now) believe in this man (meaning the Prophet
Muhammad)."
Malik was not pleased especially when
his wife went on to announce her acceptance of Islam in
public and instruct her son Anas in the teachings and
practice of the new faith. She taught him to say la ilaha
ilia Allah and Ash hadu anna Muhammada-r Rasulullah. The
young Anas repeated this simple but profound declaration
of faith clearly and emphatically.
Umm Sulaym's husband was now furious. He
shouted at her: "Don't corrupt my son." "I
am not corrupting him ," she replied firmly.
Her husband then left the house and it
is reported that he was set upon by an enemy of his and
was killed. The news shocked but apparently did not upset
Umm Sulaym greatly. She remained devoted to her son Anas
and was concerned about his. proper upbringing. She is
even reported to have said that she would not marry again
unless Anas approved.
When it was known that Umm Sulaym had
become a widow, one man, Zayd ibn Sahl, known as Abu
Talhah, resolved to become engaged to her before anyone
else did.
He was rather confident that Umm Sulaym
would not pass him over for another. He was after all a
strong and virile person who was quite rich and who
possessed an imposing house that was much admired. He was
an accomplished horseman and a skilful archer and,
moreover, he belonged to the same clan as Umm Sulaym, the
Banu Najjar.
Abu Talhah proceeded to Umm Sulaym's
house. On the way he recalled that she had been influenced
by the preaching of Musab ibn Umayr and had become a
Muslim.
"So what?" he said to himself.
"Was not her husband who died a firm adherent of the
old religion and was he not opposed to Muhammad and his
mission?"
Abu Talhah reached Umm Sulaym's house.
He asked and was given permission to enter. Her son Anas
was present. Abu Talhah explained why he had come and
asked for her hand in marriage.
"A man like you, Abu Talhah ,"
she said, "is not (easily) turned away. But I shall
never marry you while you are a kafir, an
unbeliever."
Abu Talhah thought she was trying to put
him off and that perhaps she had already preferred someone
wealthier and more influential. He said to her:
"What is it that really prevents
you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym? Is it the yellow and
the white metals (gold and silver)?"
"Gold and silver?" she asked
somewhat taken aback and in a slightly censuring tone.
"Yes," he said. "I swear to you, Abu
Talhah, and I swear to God and His Messenger that if you
accept Islam, I shall be pleased to accept you as a
husband, without any gold or silver. I shall consider your
acceptance of Islam as my mahr."
Abu Talhah understood well the
implications of her words. His mind turned to the idol he
had made from wood and on which he lavished great
attention in the same way that important men of his tribe
venerated and cared for their personal idols.
The opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym
to stress the futility of such idol worship and she went
on: "Don't you know Abu Talhah, that the god you
worship besides Allah grew from the earth?"
"That's true," he said.
"Don't you feel stupid while
worshipping part of a tree while you use the rest of it
for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself? (If you should
give up these foolish beliefs and practices) and become a
Muslim, Abu Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept you as a
husband and I would not want from you any sadaqah apart
from your acceptance of Islam."
"Who shall instruct me in
Islam?" asked Abu Talhah. "I shall," Umm
Sulaym replied. "How?"
"Utter the declaration of truth and
testify that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad
is the Messenger of Allah. Then go to your house, destroy
your idol and throw it away."
Abu Talhah left and reflected deeply on
what Umm Sulaym had said. He came back to her beaming with
happiness.
"I have taken your advice to heart.
I declare that there is no god but Allah and I declare
that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah."
Umm Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married.
Anas, her son, was pleased and the Muslims would say:
"We have never yet heard of a mahr that was more
valuable and precious than that of Umm Sulaym for she made
Islam her mahr."
Umm Sulaym was pleased and delighted
with her new husband who placed his unique energies and
talents in the service of Islam. He was one of the seventy
three men who swore allegiance to the Prophet at the
second Pledge of Aqabah. With him, according to one
report, was his wife Umm Sulaym. Two other women, the
celebrated Nusaybah bint Kab and Asma bint Amr witnessed
Aqabah and took the oath of allegiance to the Prophet.
Abu Talhah was devoted to the Prophet
and took enormous delight in simply looking at him and
listening to the sweetness of his speech. He participated
in all the major military campaigns. He lived a very
ascetic life and was known to fast for long periods at a
time. It is said that he had a fantastic orchard in
Madinah with date palms and grapes and running water. One
day while he was performing Salat in the shade of the
trees, a beautiful bird with brightly colored plumage flew
in front of him. He became engrossed in the scene and
forgot how many rakats he had prayed. Two? Three? When he
completed the Prayer he went to the Prophet and described
how he had been distracted. In the end, he said:
"Bear witness, Messenger of Allah, that I hand over
this orchard as a charity for the sake of Allah, the
Exalted."
Abu Talhah and Umm Sulaym had an
exemplary Muslim family life, devoted to the Prophet and
the service of Muslims and Islam. The Prophet used to
visit their home. Sometimes when the time of Prayer came,
he would pray on a mat provided by Umm Sulaym. Sometimes
also he would have a siesta in their house and, as he
slept, she would wipe the perspiration from his forehead.
Once when the Prophet awoke from his siesta, he asked:
"Umm Sulaym, what are you doing?" "I am
taking these (drops of perspiration) as a barakah
(blessing) which comes from you ," she replied.
At another time, the Prophet went to
their house and Umm Sulaym offered him dates and butterfat
but he did not have any of it because he was fasting.
Occasionally, she would send her son Anas with bags of
dates to his house.
It was noticed that the Prophet, peace
be on him, had a special compassion for Umm Sulaym and her
family and when asked about it, he replied: "Her
brother was killed beside me."
Umm Sulaym also had a well-known sister,
Umm Haram, the wife of the imposing Ubadah ibn as-Samit.
She died at sea during a naval expedition and was buried
in Cyprus. Umm Sulaym's husband, Abu Talhah, also died
while he was on a naval expedition during the time of the
third Caliph, Uthman, and was buried at sea.
Umm Sulaym herself was noted for her
great courage and bravery. During the Battle of Uhud, she
carried a dagger in the folds of her dress. She gave water
to and tended the wounded and she made attempts to defend
the Prophet when the tide of battle was turning against
him. At the Battle of Khandaq, the Prophet saw her
carrying a dagger and he asked her what she was doing with
it. She said: "It is to fight those who desert."
"May God grant you satisfaction in
that," replied the Prophet. In the face of adversity,
Umm Sulaym displayed a unique calmness and strength. One
of her young sons (Umayr) fell sick and died while her
husband was away looking after his orchards. She bathed
the child and wrapped him in shrouds. She told others at
her home that they should not inform Abu Talhah because
she herself wanted to tell him.
Umm Sulaym had another son whose name
was Abdullah. A few days after she gave birth, she sent
Anas with the baby and a bag of dates to the Prophet. The
Prophet placed the baby on his lap. He crushed the dates
in his mouth and put some in the baby's mouth. The baby
sucked the dates with relish and the Prophet said:
"The Ansar are only fond of dates."
Abdullah eventually grew up and had
seven children all of whom memorized the Quran.
Umm Sulaym was a model Muslim, a model
wife and mother. Her belief in God was strong and
uncompromising. She was not prepared to endanger her faith
and the upbringing of her children for wealth and luxury,
however abundant and tempting.
She was devoted to the Prophet and
dedicated her son Anas to his service. She took the
responsibility of educating her children and she played an
active part in public life, sharing with the other Muslims
the hardships and the joys of building a community and
living for the pleasure of God.
|
