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GOD’S
MESSENGER AND CHILDREN
The
Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings, excelled in
every walk of life. People should not compare him to
themselves or the so-called ‘great personalities’ of
their age. Researchers should look at him, the one to whom
angels are grateful, always remembering that he excelled
in every way. If they want to look for Muhammad, upon him
be peace and blessings, they must search for him in his
own dimensions. It is not possible to reach him using the
imaginations of people like us, who do not even know how
to imagine properly, for God bestowed upon him, as His
special favor, superiority in every field.
The
Prophet Muhammad is truly the pride of humanity. He lived
and died with honor. Humanity has never witnessed and
never will witness a person like him. Even his
contemporaries could not see him in his full reality. Most
of them could not recognize him. However, the number of
his nation who know and respect him has ever since
increased continually.
He
was an extraordinary head of family, a perfect father, and
a unique grandfather. He was unique in every way.
He
treated his children and grandchildren with extraordinary
compassion and never neglected to direct their faces to
the Hereafter and towards good deeds. He smiled at them,
caressed and loved them, but he did not allow them to
neglect the matters related to their afterlife. In worldly
matters, he was extremely open, yet he was very serious
and dignified in maintaining their relationship with God.
He showed how to lead a humane life, and never allowed
them to be neglectful of their religious duties. He was
very careful about this, so as to keep them from becoming
spoilt, and to prepare them for the life of the Hereafter.
He was perfectly balanced. This was another dimension of
his divinely inspired intellect.
In a
hadith narrated by Muslim, Anas bin Malik, honored as the
servant of the Messenger, one who performed this service
with perfect loyalty for ten years without break, says:
I
have never seen a man who was more compassionate to
his family members than Muhammad.11
He
was so compassionate, so sincere and so open that no one
can be compared to him.
If
this admission were made just by us, it could have been
dismissed as unimportant. However, millions of people, so
benign and compassionate that they would not even offend
an ant, declare and admit that he was unique in that he
embraced the whole being with compassion.
He
was a human like each of us, but God inspired in him
intimate affection for every living being so that he would
be able to establish a connection with all of them.
Because of this, he was full of extraordinary affection
toward his family members and others.
All
of his sons had died. His last son, Ibrahim, born of Mary,
the Copt, did not live long either. The Messenger often
visited his son while alive, although he was very busy,
who was looked after by a nurse, and he embraced, kissed,
caressed him, and then returned home.12 When
Ibrahim passed away, the Prophet took him on his lap
again, embraced him and described his sorrow while on the
brink of tears. Some were surprised. He gave them this
answer: Eyes may water and hearts may be broken but we
do not say anything except what God will be pleased with.
He pointed to his tongue and said: God will ask us
about this.13 He was the most
compassionate, most merciful of all people.
He
took his grandsons Hasan and Husayn on his back and
carried them around with him. Is it possible for a man of
such status to do such a thing? He did it without
hesitation. By doing this, he also heralded the honor that
they would attain later. One day, when Hasan and Husayn
were on his back, ‘Umar came into the Prophet’s house.
When he saw them on such an honored place, he said,
‘What a beautiful mount you have!’ The Messenger added
immediately: What beautiful riders they are!14
They may not even have been aware of the way the Messenger
had honored them. This special compliment was because of
their position as the future leaders and family heads of
the household of the Prophet. From them were to come the
greatest and most respected ones among saints. His
compliment was not only for his grandsons but for all his
offspring. For this reason, ‘Abd al-Qadir Jilani, a
well-known member of the household of the Prophet, said:
‘The blessed feet of the Messenger are on my shoulders
and mine are on the shoulders of all saints.’ This
statement will probably stand for all saints to come.
The
Messenger, upon him be peace and blessings, was completely
balanced in the way he brought up his children. He loved
his children and grandchildren very much and instilled
love in them, but, he never let this be abused. None of
them dared deliberately do anything wrong but, if they
made a mistake unintentionally, the Messenger’s
protection prevented them from going astray even the
least. He did this by wrapping them in love and an aura of
dignity. For example, once, Hasan or Husayn wanted to eat
a date that had been given as alms. The Messenger rushed
and took it from his hand immediately, and said: The
date given as alms is forbidden to us.15 In
bringing them up to be sensitive to the forbidden acts,
even in their childhood, he laid down for us an important
principle of education.
Whenever
he returned to Madina he would carry children on his
mount. On such occasions the Messenger embraced not only
his grandchildren but also those in his house and those
nearby. Through his compassion he conquered their hearts.
He
loved all children. He loved Umama, his granddaughter,
just as he loved Hasan and Husayn. He often went out with
her on his shoulders. He even placed her on his back while
praying. When he went to prostrate, he put her down and
when he had finished he took her on his back again.16
He
showed this degree of love to Umama so as to teach how to
treat girls to a society that used to bury their daughters
alive only a decade previously. Among those people, the
Messenger’s care for his granddaughter was novel and had
never been seen before.
There
is no discrimination between son and daughter in Islam.
The Messenger himself showed this. How can there be? One
of them is Muhammad, the other is Khadija; one is Adam,
the other is Eve; one is ‘Ali, the other is Fatima. For
every great man there is a great woman.
Fatima,
the daughter of the Messenger, is the mother of all
members of the household of the Prophet. She is our
mother, too. As soon as Fatima entered, the Messenger
would stand, take her hands and make her sit where he had
been sitting. He asked about her health and family,
caressed her and paid her many compliments.
He
loved her like his own self, and Fatima, knowing how fond
he was of her, loved him more than her own self. Her great
mission was to be the seed for the saints and godly
people. She always watched her father and his method of
calling to Islam. For this reason, she wept and groaned
when the Messenger gave her the news of his impending
death, and rejoiced when he told her that she would be the
first to follow him.17 Her father loved her,
and she loved her father. The Messenger, upon him be peace
and blessings, was totally balanced even in his love for
Fatima. He trained her for the heights to which the human
soul should rise.
The
Messenger brought up Fatima, as well as the other members
of his family and also his Companions, in a way to prepare
them for the Hereafter. Human beings were created for
eternity. They cannot be satisfied except through eternity
and the Eternal Being. Therefore, human beings want
nothing but Him, and they long for Him either consciously
or unconsciously. The essence of all religions and the
message of every Prophet was about the Next World. For
this reason, the Messenger always sought to prepare his
followers for the eternal peace and permanent bliss while
himself giving to them a sample of that peace and bliss
which they would taste in his presence. Fatima once came
to the Messenger with a necklace (a bracelet, according to
another version). He said to her: Do you want people -
inhabitants of the earth and the inhabitants of heavens -
to say that the daughter of the Prophet is holding (or
wearing) a chain from Hell?
He
loved them and directed them towards the Hereafter, to the
otherworldly and eternal beauties, and to God. His words
were enough for Fatima. For those words were coming from a
man whose throne was established in her heart and who had
conquered all her faculties. For this reason, Fatima said:
I
immediately sold the necklace, bought a slave and
emancipated him, and then went to the Messenger.
When I told him what I had done, he rejoiced. He
opened his hands and thanked God: All thanks to God
who protected (my daughter) Fatima from Hell.18
Certainly,
Fatima did not commit a sin by wearing the necklace,
however, the Messenger wanted to keep her in the circle of
the muqarrabin, those who were made near to God.
Our master’s warning was due to taqwa, fear of
God, and qurb, nearness to Him. This was, in a
sense, a neglect of worldly things, and an example of the
sensitivity befitting the mother of the household of the
Prophet, which represents the Muslim nation until the Last
Day. To be a mother of godly men like Hasan, Husayn and
Zayn al-‘Abidin was certainly no ordinary task. The
Messenger was preparing her to be the mother of Ahl
al-Bayt first, and then the mother of ‘Abdul Qadir
al-Jilani, Muhammad Baha’ al-Din al-Naqshband, Ahmad
Rifai’, Ahmad Badawi, al-Shadhili and the like. As if he
said to her: ‘My daughter! You are to marry a man and go
to a house from which many golden ‘rings’ will
consequently come. Forget that golden chain on your neck
and concentrate on becoming the mother for the ‘golden
chains’ of saints who would appear in the spiritual
orders of Naqshbandiya, Rifaiya, Shadhiliyyah and the
like.’ It was difficult to fulfill the role of mother of
the great ones while wearing a golden necklace. For this
reason, the Messenger was more severe with his own
household than others in these kinds of matters. He
reminded them of the straight path by turning their faces
towards the other world, closing all the windows opening
on the ‘world’ and telling them, What you need is God.
They
would lead their whole lives looking to the other world.
For this reason, the Messenger purified, as a sign of his
love, his most beloved ones from all worldly rubbish, not
allowing worldly dust to ‘soil their robes’. He turned
their faces towards the exalted realms and prepared them
for being together there.
‘A
man is with whom he loves’. If you love the Prophet
Muhammad, upon him be peace and blessings, you will be on
his path, and those who are on his path will be together
with him in the world beyond. To prepare his family and
Companions for this gathering, the Messenger loved and
embraced them, and used this love efficiently.
Bukhari
and Muslim gave another example of his education system.
It was narrated by ‘Ali, who said:
We
had no servant in our house. Fatima did all the
housework by herself. We lived in a house with just
a small room. There, Fatima lit a fire and tried to
cook. She often singed her clothes while trying to
increase the fire by blowing. Moreover, she baked
our bread and carried water. Her hands became
covered in callouses from turning the millstone and
her back also became so because of carrying water.
Meanwhile some prisoners of war were brought to
Madina. The Messenger gave them to those who
applied. I suggested to Fatima to ask for a servant
from her father. And she did.
Fatima
continues:
I
went to my father, but he was not at home.
‘A’isha said that she would tell him when he
came, and I returned home. As soon as we went to
bed, the Messenger came in. We wanted to get up, but
he did not let us and sat between us. I could feel
the cold of his foot on my body. He asked what we
wanted and I explained the situation. The Messenger,
in an awesome manner, said: ‘O Fatima! Fear God,
and be faultless in your duties to Him! (Fulfill all
the obligatory deeds that God ordered and be loyal
to your husband.) I should say to you another thing:
When you want to go to bed, say Subhana-llah
(All glory be to God) and al-hamdu li-llah
(All praise be to God) and Allahu akbar (God
is the greatest) thirty three times each. This is
better for you than having a maid.’19
He
meant: ‘I am turning your faces to the other-worldly
realms, and there are two ways for you to reach them and
be together with me there: fulfilling your duties in
perfect servitude to your Lord and fulfilling your duties
to your husband. If a maid takes your responsibilities,
this may make you deficient. You must have two wings in
order to fly to the higher ranks. How can a man or woman
become a perfect slave of God? How can a person become a
perfect human being and fulfill all of his or her
obligations? It is your duty to find the answers of these.
First
of all, become a perfect slave of God. Then, become a
perfect human being by performing your duties to ‘Ali, a
great man who represents all the saints from among his
descendants, so that you may be with me in Heaven where
all the perfect things and perfect human beings shall come
together.’
I
cannot help but digress to mention a fact about ‘Ali.
The Messenger gave him his daughter without any
hesitation, because he deserved being the husband of a
Prophet’s daughter and a Son-in-law of a Prophet. He was
the king of the saints, and was created in this nature.
The Messenger, one day, said to him:
O
‘Ali! The offspring of every other Prophet came
from himself, however mine will come from you.20
‘Ali
is the father of the offspring, grandchildren, of the
Prophet, namely, the household of the Prophet. For this
reason, to obey ‘Ali means to obey the Messenger, and to
obey the Messenger means to obey God. Also, those who love
‘Ali should love the Prophet and follow his Sunna.
11.
Muslim, “Fada’il,” 63.
12. Muslim, “Fada’il,” 62.
13. Bukhari, “Jana’iz,” 44; Muslim, “Fada’il,”
62; Ibn Ma’ja, “Jana’iz,” 53.
14. Hindi, Kanz al-‘Ummal, 13.650.
15. Ibn Hanbal, 2.279; Muslim, “Zakat,” 161.
16. Bukhari, “Adab,” 18; Ibn Sa’d, Tabaqat,
8.39.
17. Muslim, “Fada’il,” 98, 99; Bukhari, “Manaqib,
” 25.
18. Nasa’i, “Zinat,” 39.
19. Bukhari, “Fada’il al-Ashab,” 9; Muslim,
“Dhikr,” 80, 81.
20. Bediüzzaman Said Nursi, Lemalar, 4. Lema.
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