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Asmaa bint
Abu Bakr radiallaahu 'anhaa
Asmaa
was a woman of great nobility, wisdom and patience. She
was among the early converts to Makkah and being the
daughter of the great Companion Abu Bakr, she was brought
up in an atmosphere of purity and devotion and shared
close ties with the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.
When
the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam was about to
secretly leave Makkah for his emigration to Madeenah with
his close friend Abu Bakr, it was Asmaa who prepared the
provisions for the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam
and her father. She said: "I prepared the provision
bag for the Prophet in the house of Abu Bakr when he
wanted to emigrate to Madeenah. We did not find anything
with which to tie his bag or waterskin. I said to Abu
Bakr: "By Allaah, I cannot find anything to tie with
except my belt." He said: "Tear it in two and
tie the waterskin with one and the bag with the
other."" So that is what she did and since then
she became know as 'Dhaatun-Nitaaqayn' [She of the two
belts]. (Collected in Sahaah al-Bukhaaree (eng. Trans.
Vol.4 p.141 no.222))
Asmaa
was married to Zubayr Ibn al-Awwaam, the cousin of the
Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam. He was a very poor
man, nevertheless Abu Bakr knew him to be a man of great
piety, so despite the huge difference between their
financial status, Abu Bakr married his daughter to him. In
the initial stages of her marriage, Asmaa has to face a
lot of hardship due to the extreme poverty they suffered.
Suddenly, this daughter of a rich merchant found herself
tending to the animals, kneading, grinding, fetching water
and carrying huge loads on her head. She said about her
situation: "When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither
land, nor wealth, nor slave, nor anything else like it,
except a camel to get water and his horse. I used to graze
his horse, provide fodder for it, look after it and ground
dates for his camel. Besides this, I grazed the camel,
made arrangements for providing it with water and patching
up his leather bucket and kneading the flour. I was not
very good at baking the bread, so my female neighbors used
to bake bread for me and they were sincere women. And I
used to carry on my head, the date-stones from the land of
az-Zubayr which the Prophet sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam
had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from
Madeenah. One day, as o was carrying the date-stones upon
my head, I happened to meet Allaah's Messenger sallallaahu
'alayhi wa sallam, along with a group of his Companions.
He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he
could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men
and I remembered az-Zubayr and his Gheerah (Gheerah is the
sense of pride that a man has which causes him to dislike
his wives, daughters or sisters from being seen or heard
by strangers. It is this gheerah which makes a man
protective about his women) and he was a man having the
most gheerah. The Messenger sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam
understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubayr and
said: "The Messenger of Allaah met me as I was
carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a
group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so
that I could mount it but I felt shy from him and I
remembered your gheerah." Upon this az-Zubayr said:
"By Allaah, the thought of you carrying date-stones
upon your head is more severe a burden to me than you
riding with him."
I
led this life of hardship until Abu Bakr sent me a female
servant who took upon herself the responsibility of
looking after the horse and I felt as if she had
emancipated me." (Reported in Saheeh al-Bukhaaree
(eng. Trans. Vol.7 p.111 no.151))
Look
at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa. See how she
felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about
refraining from what displeased her husband? She knew that
az-Zubayr had a lot of gheerah, so she didn't want to
upset him by accepting the Prophet's offer of assistance,
even though that meant bringing hardship upon herself. And
what did az-Zubayr say when he heard of what had happened
that day?…'By Allaah, the thought of you carrying
date-stones is more severe a burden on me than you riding
with him!" so even though az-Zubayr had a lot of
gheerah, he did not wish for that to cause inconvenience
to his wife. Isn't this what the marital relationship
should be like? One of mutual concern, corporation and
compassion? Asmaa could easily have said: "I am the
daughter of the noble Abu Bakr and so I shouldn't be doing
these jobs!" but she didn't. she was patient and
respectful towards her husband throughout her difficult
period.
It
is reported that once when she complained to her father
about her hardships, he advised her, "My daughter be
patient. When a woman has a righteous husband and he dies
and she does not remarry after him, they will be reunited
in the Garden."(Reported in at-Tabaqaat of Ibn Sa'd)
And
az-Zubayr was indeed a righteous man, as the Prophet
sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam himself testified when he
counted him among the Promised ten of Paradise. (See
Musnad Ahmad, Abu Dawood and others. Authenticated in
Saheehul-Jaami' (no.50)) He also said of him: "az-Zubayr
is the son of my paternal aunt and my disciple from my
Ummah." (Saheeh - Narrated by Jaabir &
collected in Musnad Ahmad. Authenticated by al-Albaanee in
his as-Saheehah (1877))
In
addition to her being the wife of such a righteous man,
Asmaa was also the mother of 'Urwah Ibn az-Zubayr, who
became one of the scholars of Madeenah. His teachers
included his parents as well as him maternal aunt, the
Mother of the Believers, 'Aaishah radhi'allaahu anha; from
whom he learnt a great deal. 'Umar Ibn Abdul Azeez said
about him: "I do not find anyone more knowledgeable
than 'Urwah Ibn az-Zubayr, and for whatever I know he
knows something which I do not." (Reported by
adh-Dhahabee in Siyaar A'laamin-Nubalaa')
His
son Hishaam reports that his father's leg had to be
amputated at the knee and was adviced to drink a narcotic,
but he refused saying, "I did not think that anyone
would drink something which would take away his intellect
to the point that he did not know his Lord." So they
took off his leg with a saw and he did not say anything
but "Ouch, ouch." And in the same journey his
son Muhammad was kicked to death by a mule and 'Urwah was
not heard to say anything about it but: "We
have suffered much fatigue in this, our journey." [Soorah
Kahf 18:62]. O Allaah, I had seven sons and You took one
and left me with six, and I had four limbs and You took
one and left me with three - so if You have tested me then
You have saved me, and if You have taken - You have left
(more) behind." (Ibn 'Asaakir (11/287))
Her
other son was of the Khaleefahs of the Muslims, 'Abdullaah
Ibn az-Zubayr, who was the leader of the Muslims during
one of the most turbulent periods in Islaamic history. He
was killed in Makkah at the hands of al-Hajjaaj on the
17th of Jumadaa al-Ulaa in 73H. a few days after the death
of her sin, Asmaa bint Abu Bakr - 'She of the two Belts' -
also died - radi'allaahu anhaa.
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